Cocks in the Hen House: 04.13.2010


“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By Brendan O’Malley (@mr_bnuts)

Alright, so I find myself in the unenviable position of having to pen a piece as the token weekly male on a blog rife with the female point of view. I’m not going to lie, it’s a little intimidating.

AP photo

I suppose a little background is in order: I love Philly and her sports teams. Being born in 1980 I was 10 months old when the Phils brought home the pennant and had no idea what I’d be walking into. Hell, I could hardly walk at all at that point. Most of my childhood was spent during an extended period of sporting futility that had me turning my back on baseball almost entirely and developing a deep love for the sport of hockey. What can I say, if we weren’t going to win I’d at least like to see our boys lay the hurt down on our opponents.

I followed the Phillies, but I never let myself to get too involved or invested in their fortunes – I just couldn’t allow myself to be open to another gut wrenching season.

This all changed when I started dating Michelle.

I didn’t recognize it until she started sitting me down to watch the games with her. I started picking up the intricacies of the game, the rosters, strategies. I started to enjoy the game itself. It changed my life. Now I watch every game with white knuckled anticipation, feel the frustration of every runner left stranded, and every time an opponent gets to our pitcher, it’s as if they are chipping away at me personally.

But not exactly in the way you’re all expecting.

From April 5, 2009 until November 11, 2009, I went to bed “unfulfilled” as it were 82 times. I’ll do the math for you: that’s one night for every Phillies loss (with a week to get over the World Series loss).

That’s right – my wife’s libido is directly affected by win-loss record. So for the next 155 games I want you to listen closely in the mornings when I look at the previews for the night’s game and scream in terror as I realize Hamels or Moyer is taking the mound. So, the next time you’re all bitching and moaning your way through a losing streak, remember that some guys are feeling the loss more than you are.

Love and Hugs,

B Nuts

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4 Responses

  1. AWESOME BLOG B. I will be rooting for you!! Man can you imagine the smile on your face if they had kept Lee?

  2. That’s right – my wife’s libido is directly affected by win-loss record.

    Be glad she’s not a Nationals fans. You’d have been celibate for the past five years.

  3. That’s it. I’m writing my post on Cliff Lee RIGHT FUCKING NOW. =)

  4. So any thoughts yet on the Philadelphia Union? Or have they yet to cross your radar?

    Looks like yet another team ready to put DC to shame… United is god awful these days.

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