Hair versus Hair

Lost in the excitement of the Phillies’ victory yesterday over the Giants was another struggle of epic proportions: Jayson Werth’s Beard versus Brian Wilson’s mohawk.

Let’s do a quick comparison of the two, shall we?

Brian Wilson's mohawk: old and busted.

That mohawk is soooo 1980s. Does it listen to Black Flag and the Violent Femmes too? I’ll bet his do doesn’t even have its own Twitter account or Facebook page. Hey, do you know who else had a mohawk recently? Ben Roethlisberger. Just sayin’.

Jayson Werth's Beard: the new hotness!

The Beard, on the other hand, has reached legendary status since its debut in spring training. It has inspired the creation of tee-shirts in its likeness, and amassed a following of hundreds, all of whom mourned the day that it had been trimmed back to a mere landing strip. But The Beard is back, baby! And it ripped a bases-clearing, game-tying, Bochy-crying double into the right field corner of AT&T Park yesterday.

In retrospect, Brian Wilson’s mohawk never stood a chance against the manly, yet manageable, awesomeness of Jayson Werth’s Beard. Maybe it can learn a thing or two from Tim Lincecum’s mullet.


6 Responses

  1. I just love the landing strip line, that is just so colorful!!

  2. The mohawk is weak sauce. It’s tired & there are virtually no indie rockers with a mohawk these days, while seemingly all of them are bearded.

    Werth wins. Fatality.

  3. Alyssa Milano talks about @jwerthsbeard – does she talk about a lame mohawk? no.

    Was I devastated when Califf (Philadelphia Union) got rid of his? of course. Califf’s mohawk was pretty solid, where Wilson’s looks like a sad Panda… and two sad Pandas in one city doesn’t work out so well.

  4. “Manly, yet manageable” is brilliant. Alliteration for the win!

  5. No Nick Swisher references… makes me sad.

  6. The comparison is beginning to be between Jayson’s hair and Lincecum’s – both needing some serious attention. The beard is awesome – it just needs to grow thumbs and give the rest of the head a trim.

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