Sexy Phillies Opponent of the Series: The David Wright Extravaganza, NYM

While my life is generally an open book, I do have my share of shameful secrets I wait a bit to reveal to new friends. For starters, I am the biggest Disney dork you’ll ever meet. I’m afraid of unfinished wood. And I would do anything to marry this series’ Sexy Opponent. I make no point to hide my cheers for him, even when in every piece of Phillies gear I own, much to my friends embarrassment (but at least my friend Devon understands, she’s been awaiting this post). I have his calendar hanging next to my bed, and have for some years now. I even own Mets apparel for him (I told you this was shameful). He is the definition of All-American Hottie. He is…

David Wright, 3B
New York Mets #5

Le Sigh...

I really don’t even know how I’m going to get my love for him into words. Ever since his ML debut, I have been a lovesick puppy for this native Virginian. Between the eye black and his tongue sticking out during his at-bats, and his fantabulous body and corny sense of humor  – which, for some reason, no shirtless photos of him exist, for shame! – I just die every time I see him. I’ve made numerous trips to the Mets home field with Mama Phanatical in tow, since she too is a DWright lover. When I was on crutches and seated above the Mets dugout the game we eliminated them from contention, he saw me and threw up his batting gloves after the game! I couldn’t even function I was so excited! They’re now enshrined in my bedroom alongside one of my Utley bobbleheads.Hoo boy!!

Now now, before I get too carried away with his looks, he’s a remarkable player. While he does make an insane number of errors at third base, he can hit up a storm whenever and wherever. He’s a four-time All-Star (2006-2009), a two-time Gold Glove winner (2007-2008), and a 27-year veteran of SEXY. As mentioned in the Mark Reynolds Sexy Opponent post, David played on the same AAU team as Reynolds, Justin and BJ Upton, and Ryan Zimmerman back when he was still a wee young high schooler in Chesapeake, VA. Instead of attending Georgia Tech like he’d planned by signing a letter of intent, he signed with the Mets when drafted in 2001 and debuted in 2004. In 2009, he was the victim of a brutal, unintentional pitch to the head and knocked out cold on home plate for quite a few minutes. As a result, he began to rock the newer batting helmets designed to absorb such force. He was a trendsetter for all of two days and reverted back to the current style after being taunted the world over for his resemblance to the Great Gazoo. He was beautiful to watch in the 2006 postseason, glistening in champagne before losing in the NLCS to the eventual World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. In fact, I really don’t know what I enjoy more – seeing the Mets bomb as of the past few seasons, or the tons of chances to watch him each game as they lose!

The hit...

NOT MY BABY!! I didn't breathe the entire time.

...the aftermath...

...and the resulting look, which is not a good one.

And now, back to his looks. He’s a possibly sloppy, definitely happy drunk who enjoys trying to guest bartend with his fellow Mets, as evidenced below. He looks dashing in a suit, amazing in his uniform and sexy even in sweatpants a la his GQ spread with BFF Jose Reyes. Although I don’t think he’s ever admitted it, it’s quite clear he waxes his eyebrows, and can sometimes seem a bit guido-ish (hence his second commercial for the brand, this one with The Situation from “Jersey Shore”).  When he shaved his head to try and break out of a slump, he was convinced he looked pretty ugly, but I definitely disagree! If anything, it just made him that much hotter.

Who let him near the alcohol?! Why wasn't I there?!?!

He can’t really pull off the “tough guy” image, but oooooh does he look good trying! The man is built like a brick house – even his arms are terrifyingly sexy. He owns a boxer named Homer, was the first ever VitaminWater spokesman, and even has a plane named after him, The Wright Flight!! If you’re in Manhattan but can’t seem to run into DWright, you can check out his wax doppelganger at Madame Toussad’s Wax Museum. That means you’ll also have to see the Yankees display, but for David, it’s worth it.

I...I can't...I can't even...!

He’s the oldest of four boys, Stephen, Matthew and Daniel.  In 2007, Stephen, an engineering student, was enrolled at Virginia Tech at the time of the terrible shootings that left over 30 students and staff dead in the same hall where most of Stephen’s classes were held.  David was able to reach his family and find out his brother was safe, but his concern didn’t end there. He used his own David Wright Foundation, as well as made several appearances for the Maroon Effect (the Manhattan chapter of the VT Alumni Association) to benefit the students and the school. His foundation also hosts an annual event entitled the “Do the Wright Thing Gala,” at which American Idol winner David Cook has performed.

Trading jobs for a day!

 A great guy who’s a super-skilled, multi-millionaire hottie? It doesn’t get any better!! He even wears his baseball pants the right way, at the knee! Well, at least most of the time.

I should start wrapping this extravaganza up, so onto the visual proof!!

He can deliver my VitaminWater any day!

The infamous GQ boyband shoot.

David & his wax counterpart.

My good Lord in heaven, for all that's sacred...

The Wright Flight!

The closest to shirtless we can get him publicly, apparently...sighclops.

He even makes $10 gray sweats look insane..whew!!

And last, but not at all least...THE TONGUE! From Sept. 14, 2007 against our very own Philadelphia Phillies.


13 Responses

  1. Sorry, no.

  2. Agreed. David is such a hottie how can anyone resist that cute smirk! I secretly have a wright jersey buried under all phillies tshirts too!

  3. I think it’s funny that boys always comment on te sexy player posts =) I still get to live 5 minutes from him in the off season, though. Win for O’Malley!

  4. I find it shameful that someone could forget their allegiances to their team for such a hated rival. And women get pissed off when guys look at other women? How is this any different?

  5. BTW, just to clarify, it it wasn’t clear enough already, FUCK THE METS.

  6. I always thought of him as skinny- I didn’t realize his arms are so steroidal.

    I was actually with you on Lincecum, but not this one.

  7. How can you even think such thoughts? It would be like me saying I would love to do dirty impure things to members of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleading squad. Oh wait . Nevermind.

    • This.

  8. Serious question here: what was your first reaction when Wright homered on Friday? Happiness, because you’re inexplicably obsessed with him? Anger, because it put the Phillies in a quick deficit? I’d really like to know.

  9. I like that I can look at this post over and over and over and over and my browser history will only show Phillies blogs.

  10. No, but seriously, I think he bats for the other team.

    And I don’t mean the Mets.

    • Wow, that was just great. I have no other words.

  11. i thoroughly agree with this post. i find him extremely sexy coming in a close second to my hubby Chase Utley, but i would love him so so so much more if he didnt play for the Mets. that’s a huge deal breaker for me.

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