Sexy Phillies Opponent of the Series: Matt Stairs, SD


There is nothing this city loves more than a down-to-earth, working class, honest to goodness guy just doing what he loves, and becoming a legend in the process. The City of Brotherly Love will never forget this series’ Sexy Opponent. By vote of the first-ever CDTLB totally unscientific poll, I give you…

Matt Stairs, OF
San Diego Padres #16

In one glorious, magical swing, Matt Stairs became the Paul Bunyan of the Phillies. His blast into the smoggy Los Angeles October sky kept our world domination dreams alive and made this Canadian one we would love forever. The once-portly player has now dropped a lot of the weight he carried with us, and is looking better than ever. Although he’s got all of the speed of Pat Burrell stuck in quicksand, he actually even stole a base during today’s game.  He’s sort of an all-around utility man, having played for over twelve teams in his long career.

While not necessarily sexy – he sort of looks like a badger, I think – that moon shot will never be forgotten. He will always be our hero, and for that, he is sexy.

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4 Responses

  1. Badgers are awesome. On Wisconsin.

  2. glorious!

  3. Sorry but Stairs does nothing for me. Even less now that he is one the other team. But I have to admit I have been 100% agreement with sexy opponent on previous posts. 🙂

  4. In case of emergency, use Stairs. [=

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