Sexy Phillies Opponent of the Series: Jonathan Papelbon, BOS


This Phillies slump is God-awful, and it’s ruining my appreciation for the hotness on the playing field. The Marlins are fresh out of anything possibly good-looking, and now we’re on to the BoSox. After last night’s brutal beating, maybe some sexiness is what we need. I was highly contemplating choosing Josh Reddick, the rookie called up yesterday, but sadly he was sent back down Saturday. My main man Josh Beckett is on the DL, and my other lover Jon Lester just isn’t as insane as this guy is. And this guy is…

Jonathan Papelbon, P
Boston Red Sox #58

Oh Papyboo, what can I say about thee? He’s often dominant, and always outspoken, leading us to know as much about his personal life as we do his pitching. Jonathan definitely doesn’t shy away from any sort of controversy!

He made his Major League debut on July 31, 2005, the year after the Sox finally reversed the curse and won the World Series. In 2007, he closed the door on the Colorado Rockies to take the World Series title yet again. He even did a victory jig – complete with beer case hat – after clinching the ALCS prior to that series. Two months after the win, he told David Letterman that his dog actually ate the game-winning ball! What else would one expect from the man that started his own bullpen jam band that entertains themselves with spoons and water bottles during innings? He’s been fined tons of time for his slow play, costing him tens of thousands of dollars.

Jonathan comes from a family of athletes. His mom Sheila played college softball, and his dad John holds the position of Deputy Director at the Ted Williams Museum & Hitters Hall of Fame in St. Petersburg, Florida. He also plays older brother to twins Jeremy and Josh, both minor league pitchers. Perhaps his most frightening role yet is father to daughter Parker Alice and son Gunnar Robert, but I think he’d make a pretty awesome dad.

WOOHOO PAPYBOO!
Shake it baby!

I have no words.

 

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