Totally Imaginary Conversations: Kendrick and Dubee



Many thanks to @SonOfADeitch for providing the inspiration for this little play.

Citi Field. Earlier today.

Dubee: I’m not sure what to tell you, Doc.  You’re incredible on the mound.  Any advice I give you will probably just fuck things up.

Halladay: Well, thanks, Rich.  Oh hey, Kendrick is headed this way.  I’ll be in the clubhouse.

Dubee: No, wait, stay here!  Don’t leave me alone with this guy!  [Halladay sprints toward the dugout] Awh, fuck.

Kendrick: Hey, Rich.  You see me pitching out there?

Dubee: Out where?  Oh, um, yeah, of course I did.

Kendrick: I think I’ve got it all figured out.  Mostly. Continue reading


Baseball Ladies Round Table: Umpiring the Umpires

Umpires. Everyone has been all atwitter about them all season. From Joe West’s game length criticisms to Andres Galarraga’s 28-out perfect game to Scott Barry nearly being Ryan Howard’s midnight snack, the focus on the men in blue this year has been stifling. Below is the first CDTLB Round Table. Liz posed the questions to our crew and what resulted was a comprehensive, multifaceted discussion about MLB umpires, instant replay, and the science of human error. Feel free to join in the conversation and look for more round tables over the coming months! – O’Malley
Continue reading

Eat the Phillies: The Ebony & Ivory Man Melt Sundae

The existence of this masterful creation (named by @SonOfADeitch, and thank you very much, sir) is due to a confluence of events.  I had spent ages looking for an ice cream recipe worthy of Chooch, and hadn’t found anything that came close to his incredible, unmatched awesomeness.  I had a pile of decent recipes, but no winners.  I was growing desperate.  Then last week, an angel from the heavens blessed us all. Continue reading

The DL Rundown: An Analysis of the Good, the Sad, and the Beneficial DL-Dwellers

Is it just me, or has there been a lot of disabled list drama this year?  Perhaps as a Phillies fan I’m just more attuned to it, as nearly the entire starting lineup has been injured at one time or another (or all at once) this year.  While the B Team has been acquitting itself fairly well, I don’t know who could look at Wilson Valdez at second base and not fervently wish for the speedy recovery of Chase Utley.  (And considering how quickly his thumb has healed, all of our fervent wishes might have made a difference.)

Even though there’s still six weeks left in the regular season (and more injuries sure to come), I wanted to pay tribute to some of this season’s most memorable injuries. Continue reading

Eat the Phillies: Chase Utley’s Get Well Soon Candied Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies

On Tuesday, I will be at Citizens Bank Park for what has become a family tradition: our yearly Phillies game.  When my dad bought the tickets several months ago, I told him what I look forward to every time I go to a game: seeing Chase Utley play.  I don’t care how far from the field I am, I just love watching him play the game.  I am an unabashed Chase Utley fangirl.  Yes, I enjoy Jayson Werth, Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay, Brad Lidge, and Ross Gload the Silver Fox, but for me, Chase Utley is The Man.  Continue reading

Strange Fan in a Strange Land: Meet the Mets

For one day, I became a Mets fan.  I’ll say it.  For one day (and one day only), I cheered on the New York Mets.  I don’t think that makes me a bad person.  I just really, really hate the Braves. Continue reading

Strange Fan in a Strange Land: I’m Going Where?

About six weeks ago, my MetsFriend, Matt, offered me a ticket to see the Mets play the Braves at Citi Field.  It wasn’t just any ticket, either; I would be watching the game in the Empire Suite with him and his parents after having lunch at the Acela Club.  Having never watched a live baseball game like that, in an ultra-fancy environment where regular t-shirts aren’t allowed, I had to say yes.  There’s apparently a separate menu with waiters, and Mr. Met comes around to take pictures! Continue reading