Cocks in the Hen House: 09.29.10

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By Matt Carnavos (@mattcarnavos)

Well Phillies Phans, you sadly weren’t able to celebrate a season well played this Sunday.  That celebration was put off a whole day because of a team that hasn’t learned that at this point, winning is akin putting a Band-Aid on the festering bedsore that was this season of New York Metropolitans baseball.  However, I can entertain you with stories of misery, stupidity, apathy and sadness, from the capital of all those things: Flushing, Queens. That’s right, the team that brought you your favorite Twitter Hashtag, #LOLMets, the 2007 Mets.

For a brief look into how many Mets fans were feeling after the collapse, I urge you to watch this video of Jon Stewart,  one of the most famous Mets fans, talking about how he felt on The Daily Show.

Cocks in the Hen House: 09.21.10

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By Jay Ballz (@PhoulBallz)

If you paid close attention to certain national analysts this season, you probably heard them talk or write about how deep the Phillies low minor league teams are with great prospects. The Phillies’ Class A affiliate, the Lakewood BlueClaws, won the club’s second straight South Atlantic League title and became the first club since Savannah in 1994 to repeat as league champions. They also became the very first team in league history to win their division in the first and second halves and then go on to win the league championship.

Lakewood was loaded with prospects this season. One, short stop Jonathan Villar, was held in high enough regard that he was part of the collection of players that was sent to Houston in a trade for Roy Oswalt in July.

The Phillies had plenty of home grown talent come through their system in the 2000s. Ryan Howard, Carlos Ruiz and Cole Hamels are all current Phillies stars who spent time as BlueClaws on their ways to the big show. They were not there at the same time, however. The Phillies stars of tomorrow could very well have gelled together in Lakewood this year.

In a recent poll conducted by The Reading Eagle that ranked the Phillies’ top twenty prospects, four of their top five and six of their top ten ranked prospects were members of this season’s championship Lakewood team.

Singelton, Cosart, James & Hewitt - Photo by Scott Greenwald

Cocks in the Hen House 09.08.2010

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By Dash Treyhorn (@DashTreyhorn)

Has Kyle Kendrick made his last start in a meaningful game in 2010? If Vance Worley’s performance on Monday was any indication, then it’s certainly a strong possibility. The rookie, making his first career start in The Show, was effective over five innings, allowing a pair of runs on six hits while setting down five via the strikeout.

It wasn’t an earth-shattering performance, and one start does not the season make, but given Kendrick’s recent struggles on the hill, it’s certainly a risk worth taking, as the season has become too close, too up-in-the-air, too unsure, to keep giving a start to someone who has been unable to get the job done with such gusto.

Cocks in the Hen House 09.01.10 – This is about as literal as it gets, folks. *NSFW*

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By: Double Dynamite

The Toy Drawer. It’s a woman’s sacred stash, the place where her sexual needs and cravings are most succinctly defined for ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE TO SEE.

One problem, babe: We know about it. And we investigate.

Cocks in the Hen House 08.25.10 – Welcome Back, Team!

By: Pat Gallen (@PatGallen_PN)

Holy shit, the Phillies are almost the Phillies again. And, by the way, I’m going to use this space to say things I wouldn’t normally say on the radio or on Phillies Nation. Like the word “shit” – sorry.
 
It’s been since May 21 since we’ve seen the real Phillies lineup written in calligraphy by Pete Mackanin. Jimmy Rollins, Placido Polanco, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jayson Werth, Raul Ibanez, Shane Victorino, Carlos Ruiz has nary been witnessed this year, but it finally happened again. Before May 21, it was in place for the first week of the season, then, disbanded due to a myriad of injuries.  For that one day in Boston it was together, and just like that, gone again – until yesterday.
 
A completely healthy (sorta) Phillies lineup was in action for the world to see. The same lineup that helped bring them a title in 2008 and a National League Pennant in 2009 (except for our man Placido Polanco, of course) stepped out onto the field. It’s a small victory within in the war that has been this season.
 
This topic may have been beaten like a dead horse lately, but it’s incredible where the Phillies sit with the jumblefuck of injuries they’ve endured. Really, Wilson Valdez has played over 80 games this season? Paul Hoover, Dane Sardinha, Brian Bocock, and Cody Ransom where once part of this team? And here they stand, in a playoff position, ready to strike for a division crown.
 
Charlie Manuel has stated time and again they aren’t looking at the Wild Card standings, but I call poppycock. They have to feel even more empowered knowing they are in the lead for the WC. The Braves can feel them breathing down their necks as August slowly creeps to an end.
 
So I ask you, fans of Chicks Dig the Long Ball, can they track down the Braves, sniff out their scent, hunt them through the woods, and put the bullet between their eyes by seasons end? That was graphic, but they’re shooting for them. And, finally, about as healthy as possible. It’s gonna be a hell of a September, no doubt. I say they do it. What say you?
 
And after last night’s 16-inning affair, can they leave that tough loss behind them and focus on the task at hand…kicking ass and taking names through the final 46 games.

—

Pat Gallen is a senior writer at PhilliesNation.com and also an anchor & Phillies reporter for 97.3 ESPN FM in South Jersey.  He can be found on Twitter here.

Cocks in the Hen House 08.18.2010

By Tug Haines (@mistertug)

I had a dream the other night that seemed significant. A little white boxer/pit mix gently grabbed my fingers with his teeth and helped me find a bar. I woke up thirsty. Am I an alcoholic? No. I don’t attend meetings. What does this have to do with baseball? Very little. But I bring it up as proof, once and for all, that no, I do not only dream of Pat Burrell’s sweet, sweet ass.

That’s what this site’s about, right? Players’ asses? No? Oh well.

As I write this, the Phillies are 2.5 games behind the Braves and are capable of getting a firm grip on the NL Wild Card lead with a series win over the San Francisco Baseball Giants. And I’m here to tell you one thing:

I’m not worried.

You can come out and call me “homer” all you want. You’d be right, too, because I am a homer, goddammit. I contribute to a Phillies blog, and I don’t pretend to be a journalist. It’s my right. Wipe your ass with my opinions for all I care, but here they are:

Fuck the NL Wild Card, first of all. We don’t want it. Take that wild card and throw it into a watermelon or some other such Gong Show nonsense. We got over 40 games left in the season and 2.5 games means dick with that kind of time for the Braves to stumble, fall and break a hip, sort of like that old-ass Larry Jones did. If you’re sitting there biting your lip and clutching the remote, crying about the National League freaking Wild Card Race, you need to take a deep breath and think about September 2007. The Wild Card is given to whatever team is willing to barf up the prospects to another team that can’t afford to keep their pending free agent superstar (I’m looking at you, 2008 Brewers). So get those Wild Card dreams out of your head; we’re taking the division.

Halladay is everything we’d hoped he’d be, Hamels is pitching his head off in spite of the lack of run support and Oswalt was a good trade. I know a lot of people were bitching about making a move for Roy part 2, but this is some playoff-minded shit on RAJ’s behalf.

The “Postseason Third Starter Worries” of April, May and June are dead in the water. This means we can take our chances with Blanton and Kendrick in the bullpen and give shitbags like Danys Baez their walking papers come October.

Injuries? Yeah, I know. If Uncle Miltie Thompson eats a shitwich over hitting woes, then Phillies trainer Scott Sheridan should be breaking out the horsey sauce in preparation for the five dollar footlong of fecal matter he should be made to scarf at gunpoint. Have these guys ever heard of stretching? I mean really. They’re professional athletes on an elite team. Enough with the fashion shows and Xfinity ads and Stop Pre-teen Sweating foundations or whatever these guys are doing to avoid paying taxes; buy a fucking Jane Fonda tape and just watch the warm-up.

I know, I know, it’s not all about the stretches, some of the injuries the Phils have suffered would not have been prevented by stretching. Besides, I’m getting away from my point, which is the Phillies have been playing nearly .600 ball without Utley and Howard. And now Chase is back and Howard isn’t far behind. I trust they’ll find a rhythm in time to raise the white “2010” pennant, so they can raise the blue, and then the red…

—

According to Tug’s Facebook bio, he is “Effervescent, vivacious, lively, animated, high-spirited, bubbly, ebullient, buoyant, sparkling, scintillating, lighthearted, jaunty, happy, jolly, cheery, cheerful, perky, sunny, enthusiastic, irrepressible, vital, zestful, energetic, dynamic, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, peppy, bouncy, upbeat, chirpy, full of beans” and the ladies of CDTLB could not agree more.  He also writes for The Fightins and can be found on Twitter here.

Cocks in the Hen House 08.11.10-A Very Brief Introduction to Sabermetrics

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By @Utley4God

“I think he’s become Andy Pettitte — and he’s actually pitching better than Andy”–ESPN.com writer Jayson Stark relaying a scout’s opinion.

“Happ is a fifth-starter type with good command and deception but fringy stuff without a real knockout pitch.” – ESPN.com writer Keith Law.

Two weeks ago, the Phillies dealt 27-year-old starter J.A. Happ as the center piece in a deal for Roy Oswalt.  The trade created an immediate divide among Phillies fans.  Some were outraged.  They saw Happ as a young, quality lefty.  Happ was coming off a 12-4 season where he posted a 2.93 ERA and was the runner up for Rookie of the Year.  He was under team control through 2014 and not even arbitration eligible until after 2011.

The other side saw this trade as a massive win for the Phillies.  They viewed Happ’s success as unsustainable.  This argument relied on Happ being below average in stats such as FIP, xFIP, his BABIP with runners in scoring position, and his “lucky” strand rate.

This divide could be accurately described as traditional fans vs. sabermetrically inclined fans.

Cocks in the Hen House 08.04.10

 

By David Manning (@fotodave)

How do I explain photographing baseball to the world?  It’s a combination of knowing the game and reactions.  The ball starts with the pitcher.  From there, it goes to the plate and then things get interesting.  Not even the ball knows where it will end up.

I don’t like all of my photos looking the same, so I prefer to move around.  I have a routine when I photograph baseball.  I always photograph the pitcher warming up, and you’re allowed to do this from behind the plate.  The first time I did that, Joshua Fields (now a closer with the AA West Tennessee Diamond Jaxx) sailed a pitch right over my head.  That taught me not to dig in. Then I’ll spend one inning on the first base side.  After that I move to the third base side, then into the outfield so I can photograph in on the plate for the second time through the lineup.  Sometimes I’ll set up a remote camera behind or overtop of the plate but if I haven’t, I like to photograph from behind the plate last. I edit and transmit three photos during the game and continue working.

Cocks in the Hen House 07.28.10: I’m Getting Married for the Eighth Time

By @Wing2J

In August of 2003 I had the great fortune of having a wonderful woman stand with me in front of a priest and say, “Sure, I’ll marry this guy.”  It seemed like a natural fit.  Two absolute sports nuts like us belonged together.  Our first date was a AA ballgame in Harrisburg followed up by watching Ray Borque finally get his Stanley Cup on a blurry TV at a cheap hole-in-the-wall bar.  Shortly after getting engaged and moving in together, we bought our first Phillies season ticket package.  She soon came to dominate my Fantasy Football League, much to the chagrin of my high school and college buddies. It was her idea to be introduced at the reception to “The Theme from The Natural” while wearing the jerseys of our first loves (Phillies for me, Red Sox for her. This was before Boston won the Series, and their fans turned obnoxious, mind you.)  Obviously, sports were, and still are, a very large part of our lives together.

Cocks in the Hen House 07.21.10

By Ian Dixon (@dixonij)

Oh, the All-Star Game. How you’ve become a glitzy festival for corporate sponsorships and preening superstars. You even have a purpose in the grand scheme of things (please don’t even get me started on how ridiculous those “This Time it Counts” taglines are) thanks to that lovely tie game a few years back. This year, though, something happened at the All-Star Game that hasn’t happened in 14 years: The National League won.

Where might you ask was the last ASG that the NL won? Great question. If you’re reading this blog you probably already know the 1996 game was in… that’s right: Philadelphia.

To put it in perspective for you, the 1996 Phillies had only one All Star (Ricky Bottalico), finished with a 67-95 record in Jim Fregosi’s last year as skipper, saw the first appearance of Scott Rolen, and even fielded our fearless GM Ruben Amaro, Jr. (.316 BA, .380 OBP, .453 SLG, .833 OPS in 117 at bats for your sabernerds out there). But enough about that edition of the Fightin’ Phils and back to the spectacle the venerable Veterans Stadium hosted that July.

Nine-year-old me was thrilled at the fact I was going to be able to get to see all these superstars strut their stuff. I really have my stepdad to thank for getting me as into the Phillies as I am. We had season tickets in box seats right on the field in section 101, and we were able to secure those same seats for the batting practice and home run derby day. That 1996 Derby was a veritable who’s who of the coming Steroid Era in the first 3 spots: Barry Bonds won over Mark McGuire with Brady Anderson finishing in 3rd. Even Joe Carter participated (hit 2 home runs) and was booed mercilessly by the Philly faithful who still were stung by ’93. It was a great, but hot, day. Look at the temperature record and you’ll say “but it was only in the mid 80s that day!” But if anyone remembers the Vet, that place would become a pressure cooker with the sun beating off the old Astroturf covered playing surface. We had a security guard tell us it was about 105 on the field thanks to the sun. Hot as hell? Yeah. Tons of fun anyway? Oh yeah.

The next night the real game began – and it didn’t count! (Curse you Bud Selig!) There were a few memorable moments outside the 6-0 victory the NL All-Stars pulled off (the game was in the bag in the bottom of the first). The one of the biggest moments came with final All-Star appearance of the great Ozzie Smith. I still can remember the thunderous applause he received as he took the field. To this day I can only remember one other game I went to at the Vet where the place felt more alive and – the 1993 pennant clincher against the Braves.

Now I know Citizens Bank Park has seen some fantastic games in light of the Phillies recent success, but it would be great to get the All-Star Game to the Bank – regardless of all the corporate glitz and glamour – for all the 9 year olds out there who could walk away with an unforgettable experience as I had back in ’96. Here’s to hoping our Phils can take advantage of the first NL All-Star game victory in 14 years.

—

Ian doesn’t own a blog nor does he write for any of the numerous popular Philadelphia sports blogs that populate the great wasteland that is the internet these days. What he is, however, is a diehard Philadelphia fan stuck deep behind enemy lines stationed with the US Army at Fort Hood, Texas. Ian can be found occasionally roaming the halls of his barracks wearing various Flyers and Phillies jerseys muttering about missing Wawa hoagies and green tea. While being forced to live in a land of Cowboy fans, he gets his Philly sports fix from twitter, text, blog, and *shudder* ESPN. He also had the great luck of living more than an hour or two drive of Philly for the first time in his life when a Philly sports team finally won the only championship of his 23 years on the planet. He mocked the Tomahawk chop in ’93, swears there’s nothing greater in the world than a Flyers home playoff game at the rink formerly known as the Wach, went to his only Eagles game just to see John Elway play, and simply refuses to acknowledge there’s a sport called basketball. He can be found on twitter here.

Editor’s Note: Go Navy, Beat Army.