Totally Imaginary Conversations: Kendrick and Dubee



Many thanks to @SonOfADeitch for providing the inspiration for this little play.

Citi Field. Earlier today.

Dubee: I’m not sure what to tell you, Doc.  You’re incredible on the mound.  Any advice I give you will probably just fuck things up.

Halladay: Well, thanks, Rich.  Oh hey, Kendrick is headed this way.  I’ll be in the clubhouse.

Dubee: No, wait, stay here!  Don’t leave me alone with this guy!  [Halladay sprints toward the dugout] Awh, fuck.

Kendrick: Hey, Rich.  You see me pitching out there?

Dubee: Out where?  Oh, um, yeah, of course I did.

Kendrick: I think I’ve got it all figured out.  Mostly. Continue reading


Cocks in the Hen House 09.08.2010

“Cocks in the Hen House” is a weekly column by friends of the Chicks that aren’t, well, chicks. Stop by every Wednesday to see what the men-folk have to say about the weeks biggest baseball stories.

By Dash Treyhorn (@DashTreyhorn)

Has Kyle Kendrick made his last start in a meaningful game in 2010? If Vance Worley’s performance on Monday was any indication, then it’s certainly a strong possibility. The rookie, making his first career start in The Show, was effective over five innings, allowing a pair of runs on six hits while setting down five via the strikeout.

It wasn’t an earth-shattering performance, and one start does not the season make, but given Kendrick’s recent struggles on the hill, it’s certainly a risk worth taking, as the season has become too close, too up-in-the-air, too unsure, to keep giving a start to someone who has been unable to get the job done with such gusto. Continue reading

Phillies Sexy Opponent of the Series: JA Happ, HOU

There are times in a fan’s life when a player is loved so deeply, it transcends all possible trades and even sometimes rivalries. It happened way back when with Tug McGraw. I should suspect it will happen with Philadelphia’s beloved Simon Gagne, the Flyer who was once our longest-tenured athlete and now a part of the Tampa Bay Lightning. These players aren’t necessarily here the longest, nor may they be the most productive, but we love them still and that’s something I know I can’t just shake.

Of course there were other possibilities for this series’ Sexy Opponent, and Lord knows there was no shortage of ex-Phillies. But one was so near and dear to my heart – and sexy as all get out, to boot! – that it was just no competition. Sorry, Brett Myers, that little Anthrax-band-member-looking billy goat on your chin just didn’t cut it. Continue reading

Game Recap 08.04.10 – Phillies 7 Marlins 2

AP Photo/Alan Diaz

Kyle Kendrick (7-4, 4.37 ERA) and Anibal Sanchez (8-7, 3.50 ERA) had already warmed up before the Marlins ground crew scurried to put the tarp on the field just minutes before the first pitch was to be thrown.  But 58 minutes later Sanchez took the mound and it appeared the game would go on as planned. 

For the second night in a row the Phillies (59-48) struck first, scoring two in the first inning on big hits by both Ross Gload and Domonic Brown.  Brown, who went 1-4 with 3 RBIs, is now batting .273 after six games with the big club with 6 RBIs.  But it isn’t just his bat that’s making waves in the baseball world.  The Marlins (53-54) tested Brown’s arm not once, not twice, but three times in the 7-2 loss to Philadelphia.  

Continue reading

Game Recap: 05.05.10 Phillies 4 Cardinals 0

Depending on how you want to look at it, Kyle Kendrick (1-1, 5.87 ERA) was either brilliant or damn lucky in Wednesday’s 4-0 win against the Saint Louis Cardinals (18-10), with the Phillies (16-11) taking a 2-1 lead in the series.

Kendrick relied heavily on his fastball, which made up for over half of his pitches. It was working for him, though, as he retired 11 of his 27 batters faced with it including 6 ground outs and 2 strike outs. He finished the night with 7 innings pitched, 6 hits, 2 walks, 3 strikeouts, and no runs, getting his first win of the season. In a collaborative effort, Baez and Contreras assisted in the combined shut out of the Cardinals, each with one inning pitched, no walks, no hits, and one strikeout by Baez in the 8th.

Continue reading

Series Recap – Phillies vs. Mets 4/30 – 5/2

Michelle was going to write a very serious series recap detailing this weekend’s Phillies/Mets extravaganza, but we decided to do this in limerick form instead. Continue reading

Game Review: 04.25.10

Paul Conners/AP

In a back and forth game with one of the oddest lineups we may see all year, the Phillies fell to the Arizona Diamondbacks 8-6; losing their second series of the year.

The Philles took a quick early lead on the two run home run from Greg Dobbs. Kyle Kendrick cruised through four and seemed to be continuing the success from his last outing. However, Kendrick ran into some trouble in the fifth, giving up five runs; a two run home run to Kelly Johnson and a three run home run to Mark Reynolds. He would walk and strike out four on the day. Continue reading